I wanted to share some thoughts with you guys. I have been having them for quite some time and no matter how many times I Google it I cannot find an answer that satisfies me. Where did this whole Index thing come from?
You see, when I was a kid and played golf - like many of you - people would ask me what my Handicap was. I had no idea. Uh, A LOT! I didn’t have one. But that is not why I am bringing this up. I have noticed a seismic shift in the way in which one garners another’s proficiency for this game we all love so much.
Back in the day, the body language and the tone of voice in which a playing partner asked you for your Handicap seemed incredibly discrete to me. It’s like that time in high school and you were standing outside the hydration store scoping out cool looking dudes to ask to buy hydration for you. Hey, my man, uh, any chance you might be willing to buy me a case of beer? When someone would ask me my Handicap it felt like that, at least to me. Hey, my man, (and the guy is close to you and out of ear shot of everyone else and kind of whispering), what’s your Handicap? Oh and another thing, I remember my dad and his friends making fun of people who asked you what your Handicap was. It was common knowledge that if you asked someone their Handicap, you were an arrogant jerk. I guess it makes sense that we don’t use that word anymore.
But it is a bit curious regarding this whole Index thing. Why is it now Index instead of Handicap? Some slope rating thing? I don’t really care, I just don’t like what it has given some dudes the opportunity to do. Well, actually, maybe I do like this word Index - whatever it means - it’s pretty funny. Here is why.
I remember my first “competitive” round up at The Club with a bunch of dudes I had just met that morning. We get to the tee box and I guess you would call it the “Alpha” in the group whips out his fancy leather scorecard holder (I have one they are sweet) and grabs his pencil out of the holder and lifts his head and says in a highly aggressive tone and to everyone in the tee box after he has declared we are playing from the tips, “all right b******, what’s everyone's INDEX?” In order to provide a better image for you here, I would envision the “Alpha” down at the pool and he is getting changed for that first pool sesh of the season. He throws on his sweet $300 Vilebrequin bathing suit and walks out on the pool deck with his belly sucked in and his chest pumped out. You guys know that guy. Many of you guys are that guy. Boys, some honest self reflection is always a healthy practice. But that’s the guy. “Hey b******, what’s everyone’s Index?” Dope!
Oh and hey, another thing, have you ever thought about the fact that the “Alpha” who always asks what everyone’s Index is is always the one with the lowest Index? Never, ever, under any circumstances ask what his Index is. NEVER! After all, that is the only reason he is asking. Never reciprocate. But don’t worry, after some really fast, I mean really fast math calculations he is going to let you know, as if you have inconvenienced his entire day, that he is giving you 5 shots a side. And then says something so original and funny like hey when you take all of my cash at the end of the day you should use my coin to take some lessons. Good one! Way to set the stage for the next four hours we are going to be spending together. Oh and hey, another thing, a guy who would ask for your Index already looked it up the night before.
Only, ONLY up at The Club!
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